I was chatting with a friend today who was up sick all night last night. She’s a single woman, a HAPPY single woman (yes, we exist!), but while she recounted the horrors of being up for hours ill in the middle of the night, she said “I swear this is one of the few times I miss having a partner – when I’m up alone, sick and scared, and I just want someone to tell me everything is going to be okay”. This is definitely something I can relate to…there are very few times I miss having my ex-husband (or any man) around, but every once in awhile I think to myself “it would really be nice to have some help with this right now” lol! Having said that, this certainly doesn’t mean that I don’t absolutely love what being single right now means for me, because I really really do.
There are many, many things that I’ve learned about myself since I stopped cohabiting with my ex in March of 2015, one of which is that I actually LOVE living alone, something I NEVER thought I’d say. If someone had told me two years ago that I’d be living in my own 2 bedroom semi detached house with a creepy basement and a couple of cats, I would’ve laughed at them – for reals. I hated being on my own at home, at restaurants, generally anywhere in public, just really a big old scaredy cat. It’s really amazing what we can come to terms with and learn to love when we’re forced to live a different kind of life, and that’s something I’ve come to be so grateful for. Doing these things – eating at restaurants alone, going to exercise classes by myself, wandering the streets and malls shopping without someone else’s opinion (and the list goes on) – were all things I honestly thought I’d hate, but they’ve become things I surprisingly thoroughly enjoy. I’ve come to realize that one of the greatest gifts my divorce brought me has been realizing how much I really love my own company.
Now as you’ll notice, the title of this post is that being single is “mostly” awesome lol. That’s because there are definitely still times when I’d love to have a partner in my life. Like when I’m watching something funny on TV and look over to share a smile with the person watching with me (my cats just don’t seem to get jokes the way humans do), or when I’m super tired and don’t feel like taking the garbage out on Monday nights (like tonight!), and especially when my toilet clogs and the plunger just doesn’t want to work for me…these are definitely the moments when I think to myself “hmmmm, maybe I’ll consider one of those boyfriend things again one day”. For the most part though, coming home to an empty house, tossing my coat down on the couch, making whatever I want for dinner and watching whatever I want on TV is a pretty sweet deal (for now anyway)!
I guess the most important thing to remember is not to limit yourself. Just because you’ve never lived on your own doesn’t mean you couldn’t (maybe you should test it out by renting a hotel room for a solo night of ‘you’ time!). Just because you’ve never eaten in a restaurant alone, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try it (seriously, go now!). Just because it’s scary to go to a new class (exercise, craft, writing, etc.) on your own, doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t run out the door and do it right this second! And just because you never thought you’d enjoy being single (or just spending time on your own if you’re coupled up!), doesn’t mean that you won’t quickly learn to love the times of reflection, learning self love and care, and total and utter amazingness with just YOU. One thing I know for sure is that whether you’re single or in a partnership, taking time for yourself, meeting new people and having amazing adventures is NEVER going to be a bad thing, I promise! XO